Psoriasis and relationships

[Toodlesoodles]

How are your experiences with your psoriasis and relationships? Are your partners understanding and supportive? Anyone had a break up because of it?

I know this is a shallow topic and I hope no one thinks bad of me for making it. Just feeling a bit worried at the moment. Started a relationship with a great girl that I love to bits but just worried about what she may think. Only have minor psoriasis so I've been able to keep it hidden but I worry about it getting worse etc.

I know people will say 'well if it bothers her she isn't worth your time and you are better off without' which is very true but i am sure you can appreciate it doesn't make me feel much better right now.

[Fred]

It's not a shallow topic. It's one that is very important, and no one will think bad of you for writing it. In fact you should be admired for having the guts to talk about it in public.

I agree it won't make you feel any better someone saying if it bothers her she isn't worth it, but it is true. I would say be open about it and just explain what it is and how it can effect anyone at any time.

Other members have had similar questions, you may find these threads of help.

Dating and intimacy with psoriasis

Psoriasis and Intimacy

[Group Specific]

Problems dating and psoriasis

But most of all just be yourself it will all work out right in the end. And remember that everyone has problems of some sort or another, for all you know she may have a problem too that she feels apprehensive of sharing with you.

[D Foster]

I agree with Fred , no it's not a shallow topic in fact it's a very important topic as this dam problem can be very upsetting for all involved , I have found that once people understand what it's all about then they are usually very good. Read all the information on the site and then if you want to have a chat or ask any questions then you will find that the inmates on here are very experienced in all aspects of P/PsA.

[jiml]

I don't think it's a shallow topic in fact I think it's rather important as I'm sure we have all had the fear of rejection when meeting new partners....I'm afraid with me it was a lot of years ago, but I can still remember trying to keep it hidden and it certainly held me back with chasing the girls......it was hard when I met my now wife, I think I had been going out with her for  about 2 weeks before I was able to tell her ......there comes a time when you can't hide it     any longer ...

She was very understanding, as at that time I was not to badly covered, but did get bad and she has always been supportive

What I will say is that these days the treatment is so much better and it should be possible to control it a lot better than in my day . Make sure you keep on good terms with your dermatologist, so if you get a bad flare you will be able to get it under control  fairly quickly

I hope she's an understanding girl, it's better to tell early and explain it's not contagious and is treatable and you are controlling it

See Relating to someone with psoriasis

[Toodlesoodles]

Thank you guys. This makes me feel a lot better. 

Does psoriasis tend to get worse with age (I'm 29) or can it just stay around the same severity for life?

Someone mentioned she may have problems of her own and the truth is, she does. Plenty of them.  But i love her all the more for them. 

[Fred]

Thank you guys. This makes me feel a lot better. 

Does psoriasis tend to get worse with age (I'm 29) or can it just stay around the same severity for life?

Someone mentioned she may have problems of her own and the truth is, she does. Plenty of them.  But i love her all the more for them. 

That was me, I said she may have problems of her own. Most people do if they are honest, you carry on loving her for her problems I'm sure she will love you for yours.

Psoriasis is a funny bugger it can come and go, but it's never completely gone. Some get covered in it and some have just a little annoying patch, some go into remission and some never get it under control. With psoriasis there is no one suit that fits all, we all have made to measure psoriasis.

So asking if it can get worse as one gets older is impossible to answer. It's a bit like asking "Will I go on to get psoriatic arthritis" again no one knows, you may be lucky and never get it or may be struck down at a young age.

Sorry but it's best to say it as it is. The best advice I could give would be just take it one day at a time and don't worry about it. You're still young and if it starts to get worse then talk with your dermatologist, if it starts getting better then enjoy that time whilst it lasts.

[Caroline]

Well in my opinion everybody has some kind of problem(s), so where yours is psoriasis, others may and will have other things either physical or psychic (or whatever you call that) I am Dutch remember .
My OH also has his less sides, but I don't love him less because of that. He of course knows of my PsA and the limitations that brings. But het states that he admires me because I never complain. (I do that over here, hihi)

So I think that if she is the right one for you, if she really loves your, there is nothing to fear.

Psoriasis can come and go, as Fred states.
A limited percentage will get psoriatic arthritis. So be it. I think that is inevitable. Common advice: avoid stress but if you are dating...... there is the stress

Luckily lots of treatments are available. Try to avoid the bad ones, you will find a lot about that on the forum.

Good luck and don't worry,
Caroline

[pingu]

It is really easy to be blase about dating, psoriasis and relationships but in my experience from my 20s onwards, I am old now, it was never an issue.

If, like many people she is a decent person she will realise we are all different and if she feels the same as you do for her she will be fine with it. Yes it can be stressful if you get stressed etc but it will be easier if you mention it.

I recall when I was in my first relationship, at a certain point. I told my then girlfriend I had psoriasis and it was a non issue. It was me that had the problem and not her.

Non of my relationships have ended because of psoriasis.

Hope that helps and good luck.

[Fred]

I recall when I was in my first relationship, at a certain point. I told my then girlfriend I had psoriasis and it was a non issue. It was me that had the problem and not her.

Non of my relationships have ended because of psoriasis.

Hope that helps and good luck.

I too found it was me that was thinking it was an issue, and none of my relationships ended because of psoriasis.