Psoriasis and Intimacy

[Brighteyes]

Now don't get too excited. This is not one of my short stories.
In a serious vein, I've been thinking about the future. Whilst I'm not in a position yet to start thinking about dating (much too early after the break up) I do realise that one day I will be.
But the thought of attempting a new relationship whilst managing psoriasis seems like an insurmountable obstacle.
My relapses, inability to work and general appearance are going to seriously limit my eligibility. Or am I making mountains out of molehills here?
Anyone got any experiences/ advice to share?

[jiml]

No you are not making mountains out of molehills. It's a natural concern and we all look to the future with trepidation about he reoccurrence of the disease.

Brighteyes we are all very similar and have our needs, but with psoriasis I in the past have stifled the feelings for fear of rejection.
I guess I was lucky as the girl I married has stuck with me through the hell years

But another thing Brighteyes there have been some great advances in treating the disease that you should find something that will give you long term relief. With that will come a new confidence in you as you will no longer be the outsider.

I think your future should be bright and dating should become acceptable to you, just don't leave it too long before telling a partner of your insecurity due to the psoriasis. Don't get too emotionally involved before breaking the news

You are an attractive young mum struggling to bring up a family alone.... The strength that takes is immense.

I'm sure you will beat the disease into remission and be able to start mixing and hopefully dating

Have you seen this thread Dating and intimacy with psoriasis

[Turnedlight]

I think there are more wonderful people out there than we might think, and there might be a few dead end dates who may not like your psoriasis but would you really want someone like that anyway? It is a good filter for weeding out shallow people..
Having said that, I didn't get psoriasis until after I met my husband but I really don't think it would have changed his mind.
I can imagine it might be hard to know when to bring it up, personally I find it hard to hide anything so I'd probably mention it quite early but also that it's a lot like eczema, people seem to understand and know about eczema and for me it's easier than trying to explain psoriasis.
The thing I find harder to to take is pity, people feeling sorry for you and behaving differently because of it.

[Brighteyes]

I agree that early disclosure is a valid point.
I recently came out of a ten year relationship. My ex-partner was there right at the beginning and witnessed the devastation that ensued. The psoriasis itself wasn't the cause of the break up and we remain good friends. He still helps out when I have a flare up, especially with our son.
Like I said, I'm not ready yet to start dating again but I'm conscious of the fact that I will be. Hell, I'm too young to be taking a vow of chastity. LOL!

[Fiftyplus]

Now don't get too excited. This is not one of my short stories.  
In a serious vein, I've been thinking about the future. Whilst I'm not in a position yet to start thinking about dating (much too early after the break up) I do realise that one day I will be.
But the thought of attempting a new relationship whilst managing psoriasis seems like an insurmountable obstacle.
My relapses, inability to work and general appearance are going to seriously limit my eligibility. Or am I making mountains out of molehills here?
Anyone got any experiences/ advice to share?

[Fred]

Hello Brighteyes good to see you again.  

I would say just be yourself and if things get to a second date explain what it is you have and how it effects your life and those around you. If your date heads for this hills, then that will be their loss. We all have something going on in our lives and I would say if you open up early about it you may find your date opens up about something too.

And to all those "Beautiful" people out there reading this with your perfect complexion, be very careful how you treat others as Psoriasis is not prejudice and it can hit anyone at any time.

Be yourself, dive on in and enjoy the experience. If someone walks away because you have psoriasis then they are not for you anyway.

Plus we get the benefits of having you around whilst you're not dating, and it could get you creative juices flowing again.    

Fred goes off to read [Group Specific]

[Kat]

Hi Brighteyes,

I don't have to think of that for myself as I'm older and married and even without psoriasis doubt I'd ever go back to the dating world. I understand your concern however and honestly just take care of yourself and find a treatment that works best for you and if you meet someone who can't accept that you have psoriasis, they weren't good enough for you anyway!!

[Fiftyplus]

Hello Brighteyes,

I have been looking at your post again because I know what you're going through...and the different advice you have been given all makes sense.

Looking at your picture I know that im old enough to be your mum...my eldest looks about your age, and I too brought up my three on my own, I can't remember who said it before but that alone is a full time job, and then P comes up and you wonder what the future may bring.

The future will be what it will be, but now is the important time...see to you!

If anyone is put off by P that just means that they can't see the beauty inside and out.

Fifty

[jiml]

Hello Brighteyes,

I have been looking at your post again because I know what you're going through...and the different advice you have been given all makes sense.

Looking at your picture I know that im old enough to be your mum...my eldest looks about your age, and I too brought up my three on my own, I can't remember who said it before but that alone is a full time job, and then P comes up and you wonder what the future may bring.

The future will be what it will be, but now is the important time...see to you!

If anyone is put off by P that just means that they can't see the beauty inside and out.

Fifty

[Brighteyes]

Hello Brighteyes,

I have been looking at your post again because I know what you're going through...and the different advice you have been given all makes sense.

Looking at your picture I know that im old enough to be your mum...my eldest looks about your age, and I too brought up my three on my own, I can't remember who said it before but that alone is a full time job, and then P comes up and you wonder what the future may bring.

The future will be what it will be, but now is the important time...see to you!

If anyone is put off by P that just means that they can't see the beauty inside and out.

Fifty

Thanks Fifty.
You're absolutely correct.
Although (at FiftyPlus) I doubt you're old enough to be my mum (I'm 47). You can be my big sister instead.