Back Into Hell

[Brighteyes]

When you say up and down do you mean you haven't always been taking it   or the effects of it have been up and down
So I'm a bit thick ( excuse me) but are you on the mend ...psoriasis wise

You will have to plant up those containers soon with some veg

I had to cancel my last appointment as both Alex and I were laid up with sickness. I did make them aware that I only had 2 weeks of MTX left and was hoping it would be possible to rearrange as soon as was convenient. I got a letter for an appointment 6 weeks away. I had anticipated this by the way, I realise how busy the clinic is. So I phoned, every morning, in case of a cancellation.
Two weeks in and there were none. Everything began to break down physically. I ended up getting in touch with the consultants secretary who was very sympathetic. Then she got back to me saying that the consultant was not prepared to prescribe until I had another blood test. I'd had one 6 weeks prior and it was all good but I appreciate that I'm required to have them monthly.
Luckily a good friend practically carried me into hospital for the blood test. It came back good, the consultant signed the prescription and someone else had to pick it up for me.
I'm now 3 weeks in and only just starting to feel remotely comfortable. I can pace myself around the house but have yet to venture outside any further than the back yard.
I don't think the decline would have been so swift and dramatic had there not been all the additional stress to add to it. But I'll get there. I always do. :-)

That's a bugger having to cancel and not being able to get a sensible next appointment ....I think you did the right thing ringing every day ....I am regularly telling people to make a nuisance of yourself....sometimes it's the only way to get things done ....I'm glad you got your prescription in the end...
Is it still the feet that is the main problem ..mobility wise ...in the past they have been, I seem to remember almost impossible to walk on

It's good you are beginning to get comfortable again .......and no it's no surprise from what you say that being at such a low ebb and stressed out about how to cope, was bound to cause a flare .....particularly if you had run out of pills as well

I know you will get through this unpleasant time, and we are always here  ( except during your insomniac times)  to have a chat with.. I need the company ...as Europe goes to sleep early but we do have a few late night folk here from time to time
As you are on methotrexate I had better not offer a virtual  drink to you ..... although I have a bottle of wine open as it's Easter  

Jim. You're supportive, empathetic, have insomnia and (like me) have a bottle of wine open. You do realise you're my ideal man (except the married bit)? :-) XXX

And you're my ideal woman,    only I'm far to old for you   apart from my being married   ....but we can always be chatting buddies during our insomnia
You can read me one of your stories  

I could read you my stories BUT I've veered off the Erotica and am now back writing (my first love) Gothic Horror. Saying that, either of them will keep you up at night. *sniggers*

[jiml]

I had to cancel my last appointment as both Alex and I were laid up with sickness. I did make them aware that I only had 2 weeks of MTX left and was hoping it would be possible to rearrange as soon as was convenient. I got a letter for an appointment 6 weeks away. I had anticipated this by the way, I realise how busy the clinic is. So I phoned, every morning, in case of a cancellation.
Two weeks in and there were none. Everything began to break down physically. I ended up getting in touch with the consultants secretary who was very sympathetic. Then she got back to me saying that the consultant was not prepared to prescribe until I had another blood test. I'd had one 6 weeks prior and it was all good but I appreciate that I'm required to have them monthly.
Luckily a good friend practically carried me into hospital for the blood test. It came back good, the consultant signed the prescription and someone else had to pick it up for me.
I'm now 3 weeks in and only just starting to feel remotely comfortable. I can pace myself around the house but have yet to venture outside any further than the back yard.
I don't think the decline would have been so swift and dramatic had there not been all the additional stress to add to it. But I'll get there. I always do. :-)

That's a bugger having to cancel and not being able to get a sensible next appointment ....I think you did the right thing ringing every day ....I am regularly telling people to make a nuisance of yourself....sometimes it's the only way to get things done ....I'm glad you got your prescription in the end...
Is it still the feet that is the main problem ..mobility wise ...in the past they have been, I seem to remember almost impossible to walk on

It's good you are beginning to get comfortable again .......and no it's no surprise from what you say that being at such a low ebb and stressed out about how to cope, was bound to cause a flare .....particularly if you had run out of pills as well

I know you will get through this unpleasant time, and we are always here  ( except during your insomniac times)  to have a chat with.. I need the company ...as Europe goes to sleep early but we do have a few late night folk here from time to time
As you are on methotrexate I had better not offer a virtual  drink to you ..... although I have a bottle of wine open as it's Easter  

Jim. You're supportive, empathetic, have insomnia and (like me) have a bottle of wine open. You do realise you're my ideal man (except the married bit)? :-) XXX

And you're my ideal woman,    only I'm far to old for you   apart from my being married   ....but we can always be chatting buddies during our insomnia
You can read me one of your stories  

I could read you my stories BUT I've veered off the Erotica and am now back writing (my first love) Gothic Horror. Saying that, either of them will keep you up at night. *sniggers*

Whaaaaat you've gone off the erotica   ...oh well you'll have to keep me awake with your gothic horror stories although I do get a bit nervous

Tell me Brighteyes how does home schooling work ....do you have to follow a curriculum ? Will Alex have to sit tests ? Or is it up to you (Alex is a good name same as one of my grandsons)

[Sammikins]

Well here we are on Day 1.

I doubt I'll have much to post about as it takes around three days for my system to  dive into Cyclosporin Deprivation Mode.

I'm as prepared as I can be. My 'bedroom' is ready. I'll be sleeping on the sofa bed in the lounge for the duration as it's close to the bathroom and the all important kettle.

My side table is stocked with everything I could want entertainment wise and I get to order some treats (I.E. Books & DVDs) tomorrow. Of course, I'll be using the Amazon linky from here.

The school have sorted out an emergency place at Out Of School Club for our Pesky Kid so Dad is on school run duties for the forseeable. Now all I have to do is concentrate on getting through the next couple of weeks without completely losing my sanity/sense of humour but am feeling calm and positive at the moment

That's about it really.

XXX

Hi Brighteyes,  
Sorry to hear ur preparing for the worst, I know how that feels.  I used to be on Cyclosporin, I found it worked well for a while with little side effects but after a few months it stopped working for me and the pustules came back with a vengeance in days. 
I understand what you mean about getting set up so you can get to the loo, I have the same trouble. There's nothing worse than getting up in the morning desperate for the loo but as soon as you stand you realise how hard, tight and sore your feet have become overnight and have to hold on to something to balance yourself before you fall over! I hate being laid up in bed and want to be able to get up and do things but it's just too painful. I do have 2 prolapsed discs in my back so that doesn't help the situation, if it's not my back stopping me from walking then it's my feet. The worst thing is having a mind that wants to do things and a body that doesn't want to play ball haha.
If you can't see your dermatologist until June can't you call them or your g.p. and ask them to issue a new prescription, that's what I do, why should you go without something that's working for you and going to put you back to square one? 

Sam

[Brighteyes]

Well would you bl**dy believe it.
My appointment for 19th April was cancelled until June and, once again, I faced being without MTX. This time I took no prisoners. I didn't ask for a prescription I TOLD them I wanted a prescription and I wanted it that very day. Lo and behold, it happened.
I'm a lot more comfortable now so, because the focus is not so much on my feet, I can start to get my head sorted.

[Brighteyes]

Ooh! I got a compliment. Thank you so much.

[jiml]

Well would you bl**dy believe it.
My appointment for 19th April was cancelled until June and, once again, I faced being without MTX. This time I took no prisoners. I didn't ask for a prescription I TOLD them I wanted a prescription and I wanted it that very day. Lo and behold, it happened.  
I'm a lot more comfortable now so, because the focus is not so much on my feet, I can start to get my head sorted.

So good you are keeping your skin controlled. Great to hear you're not taking crap from the surgery and managed to get the pills. Are your feet better ? Or still a problem ?

Nice to see you

[Brighteyes]

Well would you bl**dy believe it.
My appointment for 19th April was cancelled until June and, once again, I faced being without MTX. This time I took no prisoners. I didn't ask for a prescription I TOLD them I wanted a prescription and I wanted it that very day. Lo and behold, it happened.  
I'm a lot more comfortable now so, because the focus is not so much on my feet, I can start to get my head sorted.

So good you are keeping your skin controlled. Great to hear you're not taking crap from the surgery and managed to get the pills.  Are your feet better ? Or still a problem ?

Nice to see you  

Hi Jim,

A few tiny pustules, some dry skin and a couple of annoying tears in the toe joint but I'd put the pain level at 3/10 which is FAB!!! Going to attempt a walk to the shops today but it's the psychological barrier I need to break down now. This always happens when I have a long period of isolation. Getting over the fear of going out. :-)

[jiml]

Well would you bl**dy believe it.
My appointment for 19th April was cancelled until June and, once again, I faced being without MTX. This time I took no prisoners. I didn't ask for a prescription I TOLD them I wanted a prescription and I wanted it that very day. Lo and behold, it happened.  
I'm a lot more comfortable now so, because the focus is not so much on my feet, I can start to get my head sorted.

So good you are keeping your skin controlled. Great to hear you're not taking crap from the surgery and managed to get the pills.  Are your feet better ? Or still a problem ?

Nice to see you  

Hi Jim,

A few tiny pustules, some dry skin and a couple of annoying tears in the toe joint but I'd put the pain level at 3/10 which is FAB!!! Going to attempt a walk to the shops today but it's the psychological barrier I need to break down now. This always happens when I have a long period of isolation. Getting over the fear of going out. :-)

I'm so glad your feet are so  improved that will go some way to giving you the confidence to go outside, have you got a close friend who will walk with you the first couple of times until you get your self confidence back and who is willing to just do a few steps the first time.... I will be with you in spirit although York is a step too far  
Good luck Brighteyes  

[Fred]

Ooh! I got a compliment. Thank you so much.

[Brighteyes]

I'm back again.
My Gran would say that I'm 'in and out like a dogs d*ck'. That's Yorkshire humour for you.  
It's a good thing that I have all these posts to read as it helps me to keep up with myself.
Re: Psoriasis. It's better. Just a few tiny pustules, still dry but I'm starting to keep up with the moisturising.
A friend of mine said something the other week that made me stop in my tracks. I mentioned that I have this annoying habit of picking & scratching and not keeping on top of it. She said she sometimes wondered if I was actually self harming (I have a history). It made me take a step back and I could see her point.  
Anyway, I finally accepted that I need counselling and have been to the docs to arrange it. I've also been prescribed sleeping tablets to help get a handle on the insomnia. She only prescribed 3 which is fine because I am aware that they are just meant as a temporary measure. The real issue is in my head hence the need for counselling.
My boy is going back to school on Monday. Just mornings though at the speech and language unit. This has taken some weight off my mind as, although I'm confident in my abilities to home school any subject, they have specialisms that I don't have. Plus (and I hope this doesn't sound selfish) it gives me the mornings to concentrate on my own needs. I've booked in for a haircut, am meeting a good friend for brunch and am going to try a yoga class next week.    
And on a surprising note (to me) I seem to be brooding a lot less over the ex. We're still on good terms but I don't seem to be getting that horrible, abandoned feeling lately.
Could this be a corner turned?

EDIT: Forgot to say, last week I actually got on a bus and went into town.....twice! Go me.