Anxiety and Depression

[leopardless]

Hard to write this thread without sharing a lengthy health saga. Ill try to be brief...GL

I know intellectually the benfits of biologics. However, I am on call for a lymph node removal, thyroid cancer screening - ongoing...polycyctic ovaries and and bladder nerve conduction issues. Notwithstanding several back surgeries. And an overdo hip replacement.
I have flare up and my face is presenting now as lupus and MS. Wow one big mix.
I had 4 doctors tell me I will have cardio vascular disease.
Ironically, had shortness of breath and chest pain and landed up being screened for blood clot last Friday night in my emergency room.

Bottom line I had a panic attack for fear of using a biologic- I think. I was calm had no idea and I had anxiety.

Apparently you breathe in so much and you get dizzy, shaky and faint and your blood pressure goes up and you feel like you are dying.
I am still on hold for remicade....in the mean time....

I am trying a new version of skin cap Ps Val?, kalawalia?
and maybe as a last resort a Dr. no names mentioned- protocol....

I took 60 blood tests last week for his asessment. My friend who has breast and ovarian cancer genectics. and had near death issues with lymph leaking in her body
... found him, pleaded with me to try it out.
plus the BHIH hormones etc....I m kind burnt on the alternative thing,
but I figured why not she looks fabulous lost 25 pounds.. radiant... at 51 and sufferred....

I also got a virus after giving lots of blood last week....... and that was part of the whole dam nightmare.
It gets better.....I gave the virus to it to my husband, who is on bed rest with his automine disease. (two peas in a dam pod).
Trying to not feel sorry at all. I just got very anxious and it is embarassing; not good at having stiff upper lip - no kidding.
I am not taking xanax or tranquilzers.

I have work to do and this has been quite debilitating on many levels. Making the most of a scary situation that could be worse...trying to not catastrophize....
Ill be in touch
Battling myself

LL

[Fred]

Hello LL, I have sent you a PM.

If you had the panic attack for the fear of using Bio's, then don't go for it right now. read this post about Remicade Remicade (infliximab) and find out more. you should only go on to Bio treatment if you have a positive attitude to it. you know there is no miracle and being positive on whatever treatment you decide on is the way to go.

So

she looks fabulous lost 25 pounds.. radiant... at 51

who cares! it's the person inside that matters.

Fred.

[JustSuzy]

I'm so sorry your down right now. I have battled much the same most of my life. I started having panic attacks in my early 20's when I first started feeling like people were staring at my spots. It made me so anxious I passed out right in the store. I have had a couple bad episodes a year since. Back then a very small dose of valium helped wonders for awhile.
I over the years took zanax for a long time for panic attacks and depression and found myself addicted to it and wouldn't wish that on anyone,it was worse than beating a addiction to prescribed oxicontin after cancer treatments left me with damage to my back. I have found a little relief from the otc's over the years,but would never consider biologics with my history and my doc says the chance of them hurting me more than helping me is to great. I think sometimes we see the commercials and heavy advertisements for the newest great drug and think they are cures but they aren't for the majority

I get a small dose of normalcy from short doses of prednisone a few time a year. I can take 5-10 mg a day for a couple weeks and knock the p and pa down and feel "normal" for about a month. Just the mental relief is needed sometimes.

I also now take buspirone(buspar) and it helps without giving me the stoned feeling zanax does. It isn't as addictive and the affect is very subtle but keeps me from running out of the store halfway through line,lol.

Everyone says I stay depressed but I don't feel like I am,I am just a hermit and in pain and like to sleep a lot! I hate that word.

Anyway... I as you have faced many battles and am here anytime you want to talk or vent. Keep your eye one the sky and just take one day at a time.

I use plain otc cortizone cream on my face at night after using a hot rag to soak the scales off and it helps some. Also pay attention to your make-up as some has a way of making the p look worse! I love my mearle norman base and it covers my spots so well no-one can see them and keeps them soft and flake free all day and into the night.It is a little pricey but lasts forever!

Sending you prayers for healing and a stress free weekend.
Suzy

[Caroline]

Well LL, that is a heavy history you are letting us know.

Certainly I can imagine that you do not want to go in the direction of biologicals right now. Don't also think this might be good, as most of the biologicals do switch off part of your immune system.

Maybe first try to get stable yourself a little? Blood clot, is that what we call thrombosis? That can be treated very well, luckily.

I am trying a new version of skin cap Ps Val?, kalawalia?
and maybe as a last resort a Dr. no names mentioned- protocol....

I think over here you mention some alternative approach.
BTW that is not the last resort. There is still possible what I use. I can tell about it if you want to.

Think it's brave AND smart of you to write things down. For you to share for us to read. Of course we stand beside you and will try to give you a bit of support over this strange medium called Internet.
Keep on going !!
Caroline

[leopardless]

Yes

Indeed - who cares, my thing was the efficacy of her protocol - it worked for her - not the exterior much as she rooted out the basis for all her health sagas - weightloss - was a great incidental effect. It is is great to her resilient. I am not easily convinced.

I agree ont he positive non-panicky approach and sentence to doom. - absolutley and thank you.
I hate being vulnerable and Ill it will pass.
Thanks I was really ashamed of being weak.
Ill like to be light when things are too dam heavy.

Sunny here and we are on an upswing. Part of the stress for many is juggling finances and medical bills so it isnt just one area and I can only deal with one stressor at a time. I try not to think about it and bam , there it is right in your face.
we realized last night we could have gone on a holiday rather than pay our co pays at doctors offices and tests etc....
Having some fun interdispersed - helps getting out of winter rut!

Thanks again
really appreciate it
LL

[Fred]

Yes

Indeed - who cares, my thing was the efficacy of her protocol - it worked for her - not the exterior much as she rooted out the basis for all her health sagas - weightloss - was a great incidental effect. It is is great to her resilient. I am not easily convinced.

I agree ont he positive non-panicky approach and sentence to doom. - absolutley and thank you.
I hate being vulnerable and Ill it will pass.
Thanks I was really ashamed of being weak.
Ill like to be light when things are too dam heavy.

Sunny here and we are on an upswing. Part of the stress for many is juggling finances and medical bills so it isnt just one area and I can only deal with one stressor at a time. I try not to think about it and bam , there it is right in your face.
we realized last night we could have gone on a holiday rather than pay our co pays at doctors offices and tests etc....
Having some fun interdispersed - helps getting out of winter rut!

Thanks again
really appreciate it
LL

You got Sunshine, can I have some please. It is difficult to always keep on the positive side of things, but it does help. Give it some time and take your time before going onto Remicade, I do think it will be a good move for you but you do need to be positive about it first. Have a nice day chill out and enjoy that sunshine, after all Sunshine is the best help anyone with psoriasis can get. I think even Caroline would agree with that

I'm glad you managed to share, and I'm sure it has helped. you now know there are others who understand, we may not have all the answers, but talking to others does help.

Take care LL you know where we are, and keep us informed about the Sunshine.

[leopardless]

I cant even put myself in your shoes right now or imagine how you are feeling.
Just wanted to say that we are all here for you and glad that you found us.

Take care

Tee Shirt xx

Thank you mucho! BTW I like everyones new photos...Emma Peel - agent 99- watch out!

[leopardless]

Thanks Much,


They found a blood clot 2/10 when they ooened up my jaw area. But no clots - luckily this time. Totally cleared with the Ct Iodine scan.
I'll pm you on the other.
Thanks for everyones good suggestions.


LL

[leopardless]

Thanks

For a your help in sharing your experience. I appreciate the strong support. Sometimes the road is long and arduous and I like to be resilient and positive... like the alchemist who keeps getting knocked down.
My brother in law has a great saying; or at least I like it: "They can knock us down but they can't eat us".....He is a cowboy and raises major Arabian Horses, a driven man who overcame obstacles with just good old fashoined Gritt.
I bet you have lots of cowboys in Texas. I was told to move there. I d love to ask you about it some day. Austin?

Heading out to get food....
Fyi:
to fucntion I m slathering up in glycerin and grapefruit seed oil and as
greasy as it is the DERM also wants me to wear a plastic suit and use the cortisone so I m doing all of it.
So Im not cracking..
I had to bone up to help hubby and drive him to all the doctors to avoid his heart getting the dam virus.
I made it through the weird stretch of a week.

I m glad I broke down and shared. I m not alone.
Grateful to all who reached back to me.
I was really scared and I am goingto watch soem good comedies!

LL

[Troll]

Hello leopardlawless I'm sorry I missed this. but reading through this thread you do sound a bit better than you was on your first post.